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How to Fend off your Aunt’s Smalltalk over the Holidays

December 2nd, 2014 arlark18

Dear readers, I hope you survived Thanksgiving with minimal pounds added on and no existential crisis caused by literally every single one of your relatives asking what you wanted to do with your life. (Hint: that’s what happened to me).

I’m very sorry to tell you that this isn’t over. You still have to get through this whole winter holiday season. It’s okay, don’t worry; I can help. Promise.

(Disclaimer: Do not hold me accountable for any traumatic instances, groundings, or privilege revocations due to following my advice. After all, I did try and pass off the ability to climb stairs at the pace of an Olympic athlete, because of the inordinate amount of stairs here at HC, as a valuable job skill to my aunt. It did not go over well.) 

Okay, here’s what you’ve got to do if you’re still in high school; first, tell everyone you’re coming to Holy Cross, because a) we’re awesome and b) that’ll get everyone off your back. If you’re already here and everyone’s telling you that your major (cough, English, cough) is never ever going to get you a job, just tell them about the awesome alumni network we have.

For example, I’m going to shadow an Associate Director of Marketing at The Hollywood Reporter– a huge online media mecca that deals with everything from the recent Sony leak to the Star Wars teaser clip. Don’t lie, you know you’ve watched it like four times in a row. Anyway, I’m going into NYC to their office over break in January, and I’m really looking forward to it. Publishing is something I’ve seriously thought about doing- and yes, I know I’m a freshman, thanks for asking- and goodness it’s a hard business to get into if you don’t have connections. Thankfully, I’ve got HC on my side.

So remember, just when you want to strangle someone with the Christmas tree lights, that every single kid is going through the exact same one. But you can’t boast about your muscular calves like I can.

(Seriously, it’s a marketable skill! I swear!)


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Alexandra Larkin '18

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